he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
