He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
