yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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