Your face is a jimmy john
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
