just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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