I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
