First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
