On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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