He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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