Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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