Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
