everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I will pee on everything he values.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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