Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
