Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
