Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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