so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
