dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
