? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
