all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
