my phone needs a breathalizer
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
