Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
