Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Dicks are not precious.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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