Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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