It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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