So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
