she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
