The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
