those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
