I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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