wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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