let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize