I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
