We won't sleep together?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
