remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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