Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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