were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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