I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
