im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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