Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize