In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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