so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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