First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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