i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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