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don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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