drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
