the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
