I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize