If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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