These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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