I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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