why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
