We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
my being single is dangerous.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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