I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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