i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
