I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
im calling her cock vulture from now on
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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