his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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