i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I had to cum in my sink.
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