i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
