the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
