i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
