Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
