dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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