Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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