I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
