i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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