i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
