ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
