is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
