i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
