On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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