I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
True strength comes from lack of pants
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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