i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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