Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
