So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
