he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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