as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
