I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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