I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
