its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
