she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
