I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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