brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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