party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
